Hurray for the Land of Solid Pooh

Imagine my surprise on Wednesday morning at breakfast when someone asked me the date and it was already the 22nd! After some basic math, I realized (thankfully not too late) that my flight home was on Friday rather than Saturday! So after a bit of a late start, (those 4 quetzal drinks at Ladies Night are dangerous I tell you!) I left Emily to continue work on her dissertation in Antigua while I set out solo on a whirlwind two-day trip to Lake Atilan and the market at Chichicastenango via local buses.

Allow me to take a moment to reflect on the local buses, charmingly refered to as "chicken buses" for quite literal reasons...

1) Question: Did you ever wonder where all those big yellow American school buses go to die?
Answer: Guatemala. And while some remain big yellow school buses dutifully carrying school children to and from their academic pursuits (with just the name of the former school district painted over along the side), a majority are converted to use for public transportation. Imagine, if you will, a big yellow school bus. Now gut it, repaint in in bright colors, add a few slogans praising Jesus or God, put luggage racks on the ceiling, a roof rack on top, squish in an extra 3 - 4 benches in each row, lengthen the benches and take off that space-wasting padding, and reduce the width of the aisle to about 8 in. and now you've got a chicken bus. For those of you who have not had the recent pleasure of riding in a school bus, I'll translate: It's freaking cramped! We're talking at least three adults to a bench, not to mention children on laps and people standing in the aisle, with people squashed shoulder to chest next to sleeping, chatting, or even breast-feeding neighbors!

2) Now if you are a foreigner, riding in these local buses is a mixed blessing. On the one hand, you are truly "experiencing" Guatemala in only the way that an old man drooling on your shoulder and a toddler pulling your hair can provide. You are also likely only paying slightly more than the actual cost, and after having asked three separate people to assure you are in fact on the correct bus, are feeling very accomplished at having actually made it onto a bus headed in the right direction! Also, as a foreigner, you've most likely been the last choice as a seat companion, and have therefore earned an extra few minutes worth of space on your bench. Ostracized yes, but also luxuriating in the extra bench room for a good moment or two. On the other hand however, as a foreigner, you likely have much longer legs than the average Guatemalan and in an attempt to squish yourself into your designated space, have lost feeling in one or both of your lower extremities, have pretty much resigned yourself to the fact that your life is in the hands of a bus driver who careens around corners and passes on single lane roads, and finally, if you manage to miraculously doze off, you're abruptly awoken with your head banging on the seat in front of you as the bus flies jauntily over bumps. (Happily though, you're too wedged in between your neighbors to worry about falling side to side.)

3) Other highlights of my bus adventure include meeting my doppelganger (a San Diegan teacher from the Northeast who's teaching at an international school), running into a Hollywood director/compulsive talker scouting shooting locations, purchasing unidentifiable snacks from the vendors who climb aboard the bus during traffic jams, witnessing the bus's tout/steward climb onto the roof of the moving bus to remove some luggage for the next stop, and most excitingly of all, jumping onto an already-moving bus (I AM the original Jason Bourne)!

Upon reaching my destinations the excitement continued! When I finally arrived in Panajachel, on Lake Atilan, and took a boat to the smaller lakeside "town" of San Pedro, I found myself in a maze of dirt paths amongst the fields of the big cash crops there: corn, coffee, and marijuana. (San Pedro is quite the hippie attractant!) Finally finding a hostel, aptly named "Trippy's" and complete with pan-and-spoon doorbell, I pay $2 for the top bunk of a thankfully-dark room. (I don't think I would have slept a wink had I actually been able to see the details of the room. Needless to say, I slept fully clothed that night and used my raincoat as a blanket rather than the one provided.)

My time in San Pedro consisted of more wandering around the maze of dirt paths, escaping the steady downpour of rain, (and the subsequent mud paths,) in a surprisingly modern coffee shop, and leaving the aforementioned coffee shop having completely forgotten to pay for my hot chocolate and snack. (And I didn't even partake of the "Space Cakes"!) After my less-than-fitful night of sleep back at Trippy's, I returned to the coffee shop to slide 200% of the bill under the door with an apologetic note in poor Spanish before catching the boat back to Panajachel (where I again almost forgot to pay in my attempts to escape the persistant tourist agent awaiting the boat's arrival). Let's just say that while Lake Atilan, even covered in clouds, was a gorgeous setting, it was not a relaxing trip overall.

I did manage to make it, via another successful attempt at the local bus system, to the huge market of Chichicastenango to wander around in the rain overwhelmed by the sheer quantity of tourist crafts for sale. I did "bargain" for a bag, which pretty much released the floodgates on my souvenir purchasing to be fulfilled at the market in Antigua before my flight back the next day. (Only later back in Antigua did I find out that I missed a majority of the market, the part the locals actually go to, having had their fill of brightly colored blankets, wooden masks, and hammocks. I take that into account as a further reason to return at some point in the future. The time I actually focus on SPANISH!)

Back in Antigua, I appreciated our immaculate room in the Yellow House where Emily and I were staying. And after a night out with some of our new friends, Emily decided to extend her stay by taking a weekend surf trip to El Salvador while I prepared to return to the land of no rainy season, warm showers, potable tap water, and flushable toilet paper. Nothing makes you appreciate home like a good trip abroad!!!